"I am the terror that flaps in the night..." Let's get dangerous!

That's Darkwing Duck... in case you were wondering... I miss the cartoons of my childhood...

Sometimes I say things just to be a jerk. Because it's hilarious, to me. For instance, if someone tells me they graduated in the year I was born, I will say, "1988?! Wow! You graduated in 1988, huh? What a coincidence, I was born in 1988!" Burn, now you feel old! Or if someone says, "Ugh, I hate mornings... COFFEE!!" I will say, "Oh, I am such a morning person. I just wake up happy all the time. I'm really at my best when I get up at around 4 AM." Ha haaa... Yeah, my chronological age may be 24, but inside I am still a child! "Na-na-na-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo, I'm better than yo-ou!"

You know that moment when you are teasing an acquaintance and you suddenly realize you have crossed a line? You know the moment... Either they drop their jaw in shock, or shut their mouths and walk away, thus ending the conversation. Sheesh, somebody's a little sensitive today... Oh no you didn't! Yes, yes I did.

I hate it when people start out their facebook statuses with, "I love it when..." when really they mean it's annoying. I read one that said, "I love it when people talk shit about others on facebook, but don't have the balls to call them out by name.. You know who you are..." Really? REALLY? I LOVE IT when teenagers are so lame they have to validate themselves by talking all big on facebook, while simultaneously making themselves look like idiots! GET A JOB! Or a hobby, but seriously... stop clogging up my updates with your self-induced drama. The disappointing fact is that it's not just teenagers who do this... I prefer to make people feel bad about themselves by simply bragging about myself... It's the more mature method.

I work a lot. It's not that I work a lot of hours; it's just that I do a LOT of shit while I'm there. By the time my day is over, I feel like I have been there for at least three days. Because, let's face it, nowhere else would I even attempt to cram that many tasks into that amount of time. I wouldn't wake up in the morning on my day off and say, "Hmm... I wonder if I could scrape and paint my entire house today... and then do my neighbor's house, too! And maybe I will take one quick 5 minute break to empty my ever-expanding bladder." That is what it feels like to be a nurse. Except, instead of trying to get one large task done in a day, I have to get at least a quadrillion* things done in one day while simultaneously meeting the insatiable needs of my patients... all 25 of them. Yeah. It's not that I don't love my job, it's just that some days I would really like to be able to tell someone, "I don't care! Go AWAY!" And I'm not kidding, I literally have 25 people to take care of daily. I cannot get a single thing done in a day without getting interrupted by somebody's "needs." But in all earnest, I really do love my job. It's takes a special kind of crazy to enjoy the work I do, but I think I am qualified in that department!

*Actual number of tasks... f'real.

All seriousness aside, I love having dogs. As I was putting them to bed tonight I thought, Damn, I wonder if I would be able to train my future children this well... All I do is say, "Bedtime!" and they literally race to the kennel. The kids wouldn't have to race to the kennel, though.

I'm very intrigued by alliteration. Perhaps that is why I so deeply enjoyed the movie "V" for Vendetta... It's either that or that sexy mask... For V's opening monologue click here. I was considering translating the speech on my own, but then I realized... I have the internet, and, pretty sure someone else has probably already done it! And unlike 4th grade social studies... you can't give me an F for copying it off the internet! Yes, it's true... intelligent by birth... lazy by choice... I'm just too smart to waste my time doing things that have already been done adequately enough by others, okay Mr. Trutna? And I adopted that world-view at 9 years old... I know, impressive. The history of the state of Nevada wasn't exactly a life-changer anyway. "The rate of traffic fatalities is higher than in most states (17.3 per 100,000), as is the percentage of traffic fatalities that are alcohol-related (43.0 percent)..."* "Nevada is the only U.S. state to allow some legal prostitution , in the form of regulated brothels..." And, no, I will not site my sources because apparently, according to YOU, Wikipedia is not a scholarly source, so evidently absolutely everything that's published on said site is absolute fiction... Meanwhile, you read your horoscope every morning, and adjust your daily plans accordingly.

*Note to self: don't live in Nevada, ever. It's just not safe.

The first time I ever heard a Weird Al song, I was hooked. Now I find it nearly impossible to recite the original lyrics to any song he has ever parodized. Yes, it's a word. (It's actually not. I just couldn't find a better way to put it.) My all-time favorite Weird Al song has got to be "Amish Paradise." Not based on content, but rather based on the fact that Coolio got so pissed when it became a bigger hit than his original "Gangsta's Paradise." When I saw this picture, I immediately imagined him saying, "I keep hearing it! Dammit! Get out of my ears, Weird Al! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Well folks, I'm going to have to wrap it up and bid you all adieu... Wow! I just impressed myself by spelling that right on my first attempt. Yeah, I'm worldly...

Fun Fact: A Wild Hare,originally released on July 27, 1940,  is considered by many film historians to be the first "official" Bugs Bunny cartoon.