Today's Forecast: Partly Psychotic With a Chance of Bipolar

Welcome back Filterheads!!! WOOT WOOT! I AM CAPTURING MY EXTREME EXCITEMENT WITH THE "ALL CAPS!!!!" Actually, I am more cranky and pissed right now than excited, but I AM excited to tell you all about it! But, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

<<<<<<<<<<< Rewind!<<<<<<<<<

Since you have heard from me last, I have been a busy woman. Eh-hem... seems I have also turned into Yoda... I am extremely short, and there ARE days when my hair kinda looks like his... At least it seems that way to me. Some days there just ain't enough hairspray in the world to fix it. Wait, where was I? OH, yeah I was about to tell you all about (FUCKING BOXELDER BUGS IN MY DAMN HOUSE!!!) my awesome life! Well let's see... Skydiving was fan-freaking-tastic! Read this article to understand just how awesome it was for me personally! Did you read it yet? Giggity-giggity, awl right! That's all I have to say about that! >>>click<<< Not to mention, the idea of a 180 lb dude strapped to my back only added to the freaky reaction, which I wish somebody would have warned me about in advance! I got to the ground and I was like, "Well... I'm not sure what to make of that experience. I just uh.... I think I was just violated... But I'm not sure." I sat in a chair and stared at the wall for a while. FRICKEN HILARIOUS!

Moving on------>>>>>>

You ever get the feeling that people feel threatened by your awesomeness? Well, that's okay. Not everyone is as cool as I am. But I seriously get the feeling that people who don't know me, don't want to let me in their circle of friends, cuz I would DOMINATE the shit out of that circle! I would march right in and be so cool everything else would start to look a little square! YEP!

I have been married for damn near 6 years now. That's right, 6 fuckin years of behaving myself, folks. Lemme tell you... when you are only 24 years old, that shit gets old! I want to make good decisions for my own sake, not because I have to, shit man! Marriage is rough. That's all I will say. Don't wanna get started on this line of thought, cuz I will most definitely start bashing my husband, and well... He don't always deserve it, but when he does, he gets it in da face! HAHA! I just fricken cracked myself up! See This! I know! You're welcome!

You know what else I recently saw that I LOVED?! THIS! If you knew me, you would most certainly understand... It's like a grammatical and a mathematical reference all in one!

All right, all right. Enough hopping around. But now you see what I do with my time! I know... it takes a lot of work and research to be as cool as I am. I would even call myself a hipster, but I hear (by popular opinion) this would no longer make me a hipster, so hipster. Oh I meant to write it like that.... Er, type, actually. If it doesn't make sense to you it is because you are not quite up to par with my level of magnificently clever wit. Keep reading, rookie...

I apologize if I seem a bit over-the-top on this one... Actually, NO I DON'T! If you don't like it, then FOOTBALL! Haha! Yeah... I maybe forgot my Adderall today. Just kidding, I don't take that shit! I just sit back and let nature take its course. Maybe I am a little high strung, SO WHAT?!!! I'ma come at you like a spider monkey CHIP! HAHA! IDFK, you guys. I stopped trying to understand the voices in my head long ago... I just type what they say. Just hang in there with me, and we will all survive.

A friend of mine told me a story that I was about to recount to you, but I realized it would not be quite as funny second hand, so nevermind. Haha! I got you all built up for a story there and then left you hangin'! I know, I know, whattabitch! But you know you love me anyway... must be my charm.

Well I think I have successfully wasted about 10-15 minutes of your time here, depending on which bus you rode... I KNOW, I am hilarious! You were just thinking that, too! I KNOW! I am also psychic.


*Disclaimer: some portions of this blog have been left intentionally vague because it's not all your fucking business, OKAY? haha, just kidding, but for real... I have to try to be a respectable member of society, with regard to my profession... (Not that profession, get your mind out of the gutter!) So just fill in the details yourself, and let me know how your version of events turns out!

Shout outs to: my cousin Trav for the football thing, and Ben, who told the story I decided not to share with you!

Stay tuned Filterheads!