Egomania!!!

Hey Filterheads! I guess you're probably all wondering where in the heck I've been lately... (*crickets chirping?*) Well I have been taking a vacation from my vanity for a while, in search of my sanity... This is something that's usually best done in private. I heard on TV, (so it HAS to be true) that Celebrity Rehab is a doomed endeavor from the start. They say that addicts are all egomaniacs, so trying to break an addiction while still feeding the ego (by being famous and on TV, duh!) is a hopeless mission. Prolly why so many of them died. Not that I'm an addict... Okay, maybe, like, chocolate... I can openly admit to that one. *wink*

Anyway, my whole point was that I sometimes feel like putting my thoughts down into words is just a desperate plea for acceptance and understanding. Or maybe more like feeding MY ego... BAAAHAHAHA! I just realized I wrote "hole" instead of whole! Wow, what a hole! That just changed the entire mood of this blog. No more thought-provoking insights into the human condition, oh no! Now we're down to language jokes... again!

But seriously folks, what is the problem with our nation today? I'll tell you. Now I don't claim to be like most other women, but I, for one, am extremely tired of hearing about the "glass ceiling." So fuck Sheryl Sandberg and Hillary Clinton! And all of those other bra-burning, agenda pushing, women's lib bitches! They all need to go suck big cocks! Ah-hem... Excuse me, I mean... What I really meant to say was, I don't want to run a business. And I'll bet there are far more women than men who would prefer NOT to run a business and be a successful executive etc. etc. yada yada yada! So what if the number of women in executive positions has continued to be 14% throughout the last ten years? How many women do you actually believe are pursuing these careers? I would venture to guess that there are a lot more men seeking these careers than women. And why? BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT THESE FUCKING JOBS! Speaking for myself anyway. This article seems to suggest that a woman's career is only a back-up plan if she can't find a husband who is able to provide. That sounds about right for me. Not that my husband can't provide, but ever since these stupid "we are equal" women's lib bitches started pushing their agenda decades before I ever entered the workforce, our nation has become a double income society due to necessity. This is the same reason I don't really support an outrageous increase in the national minimum wage. The more money families make, the more shit starts to cost. Although, I have to say I do agree that no full-time employee should have to live below the poverty line. I'm just saying it could really screw with the economy if we drastically increased it. Now I'm just rattling off shit about politics that has been bugging me. I hate politics. I'm tempted to delete all this but then I'd have no material for my blog, so it stays.

On the flip side of ambitious women, these low-class, uneducated, "Being a mom is a hard job," welfare mom's who drain my tax dollars are a real pain in the ass, too... Just sayin'... if you can afford to spend 18 hours a day updating your facebook status and playing mall whores online, pretty sure you could get a job... Telemarketers can work from home, so don't throw that cost of daycare bullshit in my face. Pull your own weight, bitches!

In other news... I got new eyeglasses! Which wouldn't ordinarily be that exciting except that these correct for my astigmatism so well that I can actually read more than a short magazine article without getting a headache or drifting off into an exhausted slumber. Which, in turn, means... I have been reading books! Yes, yes... I know. I accept your congratulations. So I have been getting into the fantasy genre (as in MAGIC, you perv!) But I don't like mainstream stuff, so I read Mary Brown's Pigs Don't Fly and the sequel Master of Many Treasures. The latter book has an alternate ending. What is your take on alternate endings? I HATE them! I am not the author of these freakin' books, it should not be for me to decide how it ends! Just tell us! UGH! There is nothing more irritating than getting to an ending that read, "And the two lovers perished after falling into a giant ravine. Or they lived happily ever after. You decide." WHAT? Did Romeo and Juliet have an alternate ending? NO! If you are too afraid to piss off your readers by killing off the main characters then you never should have become an author in the first place, and you are a whimp! wimp? hm... idk Oh spell check just told me, it's wimp.

So I went to work the other day, not my nursing job, my job at the factory. I knew it was gonna be a shitty day cuz I was really tired (thanks daylight saving time, you suck). But I, being a genius of unappreciated measure, thought ahead. I brought 3 energy drinks to work. I immediately downed one and put the other two in the fridge. Two and a half hours into my 12 hour shift, I went for another only to find... Someone stole one of my energy drinks! WTF?! STUPIDDUMBSHITGODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!! (Offspring, Bad Habit) OMG I was so mad! Ask my husband about the time he ate the last of the spaghetti leftovers... (*Hint: I threatened to divorce him!) The first thing I did was, I took a little tour around the plant to see if anyone was drinking said energy drink. Nope. Then I started bitching to anyone and everyone who would listen about how I had been robbed, only to find out it's been happening all the time. Guy #1 had 2 hot pockets and a soda stolen. Guy #2 had his lunch and soda stolen out of his lunch bag! What an asshole! And #3 had an entire loaf of bread and package of lunch meat stolen out of the fridge. SO... I made a little note and taped it to the door and it read as follows:

To Whomever STOLE my Kickstart out of the fridge this morning:
     1) You're a JERK for stealing
     2) You owe me $1.07, which you may turn in to the supervisor.
~Kendra~

That's right I signed my name. Motherfucker isn't going to treat me like I'm anonymous. No fucking way. If you're gonna rob me, you better at least know who the fuck I am! (Said no one to the IRS ever...)  Wow... I'm getting kinda violent with the words here. But I was very upset, and thirsty, later on, after I finished my second energy drink, and a soda. Hey I work hard! and I get very thirsty... Well it's the principle of the matter, really.

Well I think I successfully met my quota for number of people to offend today... So, I think I can sign off now... Oh yeah, almost forgot to tell you... I recently picked up the new habit of binge-drinking!

Cheers!