Deviant Thoughts

Have you ever realized you've figured something out that you wish you hadn't? Like realizing your parents are still having sex, just not with each other...Well I never had that experience per se, but I have had similarly awkward awakenings of the mind. It's the kind of feeling you get when you take the time to make an awesome BLT; you fry up your bacon,  (concentrate there is more to this analogy than just bacon!) you slice your juicy red tomato, pull off a couple leaves of lettuce, slather your toast with a generous amount of mayo... Then you admire your creation, and your mouth is watering. You take a large bite to fill your greedy mouth. Then it hits you like a garbage truck on your tastebuds: the mayo is rancid. And even after you spit it out and wash your mouth out with a gallon of Listerine, you still can't get the taste out. And even the next day, the disgusting taste lingers in your mouth like the sad memory of a love lost. You will never look at a BLT the same way. And to some extent, it has even ruined your taste for bacon! Yes folks, that is a sad sad day. We'll call it Sadder-day.

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you keep waking up inside your dream? You can't tell what is real, and stimuli from the environment works it's way into your dream, tricking you  into believing you are awake when you're not. That is what I would imagine it would feel like to have dementia: to live in constant limbo between the real world and the fantasy world of our minds. But one could use this to ones advantage, if the confusion wasn't so frightening. I had a dream once where I was completely lucid and I was able to carry out tasks. Fleeting, though it was, and I never could get it to go "exactly" where I wanted it to (wink, wink). It was at work back when I worked in the factory, and it was just work related crap. I had to complete menial tasks and could never actually leave the environment. So I guess I wasn't fully in control. I got sick of being at work in my dreams, so I just woke myself up.

When I was about ten years old I stepped in a pile of cow shit, barefoot. I don't remember the circumstances of why I was barefoot in the pasture. But I do know the warm wet feeling gushing up between my toes sent me into shock. When I looked down at the dripping green doo-doo I started to bawl! Again, not sure why I had that reaction. It's just cow shit. It washes off! Yeah, that's a great story. I especially love it when good ol' Ma tells it to people... She has a special way of capturing my childhood angst the way only a mother could... Memories...

I have no idea what inspired me to share that with you, but I think it is fricken hilarious!

Have you ever had something amazing happen to you and you wanted to share it with someone but there is just no appropriate way to do so? It would be like if Lex Luthor died and Superman showed up at his funeral. No I am not a comic book junkie, so if this has happened, I apologize if my ignorance has offended those of you who are. Losers. J/k I think comics would be a bitchin hobby/interest. It would be the perfect amount of reading. Kind of like a magazine, except that comics don't attempt to present their stories as fact. And their stories would be infinitely more intersting than any article beginning with the phrase "10 ways..." My favorite list is this, "Top ten reasons I procrastinate. # 1:  "

Have you ever tried hypnosis? It's pretty amazing, I must say. I never thought I would be singing its praises, but I think it works if you want it to. I don't know if it has any lasting effects, but it was pretty cool in the moment! I used to think it only worked on the weak minded, but now I think it works on people who are strong enough to let their minds submit to the suggestions of another. It's powerful stuff. I wonder if you can get addicted to it....

Gotta go! bye! haha! Just kidding.

I think it is infinitely more rewarding to write a passage that gets the same message across by leaving out details. If the reader can connect the dots on their own, it feels like you share a secret with them. It makes it more personal. Almost like a conversation. A private conversation. I only learned this after reading some material myself. If you know me at all, you know I hate reading! It makes me sleepy. But in an effort to better satisfy my own readers, I have been doing some research. Your welcome. I also choose my words carefully to craft passages that give the reader a desired effect. Now that I have shared that with you, you will no doubt analyze my word choice more carefully, won't you? Now you will be thinking, "Shit, she has been manipulating my brain this whole time! What the hell? I feel so violated!" Now, with each stroke of the key, I form the words you read, and you will be thinking, "What's that supposed to mean? What is she doing?" Feeling paranoid, yet?

See! That is hypnosis! Well, kind of. It's suggestive, yet soothing. Manipulative, yet ameliorating. It both excites you and relaxes you at the same time. Man, I love words!

Anyway, I have been thinking about starting up a second blog. This one was intended to be light-hearted and funny, but I have had the urge recently to share a different side. "The Dark Side," if you will. Let me know if you guys have any requests or ideas. What would you like to see more of? Let me know and I will base the next blog on your suggestions!

Stay tuned Filterheads!